Selamat Ulang Tahun, Ibuk

Kemaren, atau 15 menit yang lalu. Di tanggal cantik itu, Ibuk ulang tahun ke 39. 11-12-13 lah katanya... buk, engkau seseorang yang paling tegar dan hebat di dunia ini. sinetron aja kalah...
Seandainya hidup ini dijadiin sinetron, haha.. semua pasti tau engkau bukan seseorang yang biasa. Buk, jika aku kamu, aku tak akan mampu berdiri tegak lagi. Buk, bukankah luka menjadikan setegar gunung? tapi kau lebih tegar dari apapun buk...
ketika seseorang yang seharusnya merawatmu dan mencintaimu malah mengacuhkanmu, kau permata. ketika seseorang yang kau cintai dan hanya kau miliki satu2nya, kau memaafkannya. jika itu aku, aku akan membunuhnya.
kau seseorang yang mengajarkan aku ketegaran dan keteguhan, jika bisa, aku pun sanggup untuk menukar nyawaku demi kebahagiaanmu. Kecantikanmu, kecerdasanmu, kebaikanmu, ketegaranmu, semuanya kau wariskan kepadaku. terimakasih karena telah merawatku dan menyayangiku lebih dari apapun,
ketika aku pulang, tak pernah kau biarkan aku susah sedikitpun. bahkan kau memilih untuk tidur denganku daripada dengan ayah yang sama2 pulang seminggu sekali. tak ada seorangpun yang boleh melukaiku, bahkan untuk urusan makan saja kau menyuapiku walau dengan memaksaku. Ketika aku harus minum ramuan jamu yang rumit ini, kau selalu sedia membuatkannya untukku dan aku sangat membencinya. padahal itu untuk kebaikanku. kau tetap sabar. Dahulu aku jahat sekali denganmu, aku menyesal seumur hidupku. Maafkan aku buk.. mulai sekarang aku tak akan membiarkanmu terluka sedikit saja.
Buk, aku mencari seorang yang menyayangiku sepertimu, yah.. minimal 30%nya saja dan aku belum menemukannya.
sekali lagi... ijinkan  aku menukar nyawaku demi kebahagiaanmu...
aku sangat menyayangimu ibuk.. lebih dari apapun......
Selamat ulang tahun ibuk, Budi Harwanti, kau lah sang malaikat tanpa sayap....

Kesibukan Saya

Menjadi seseorang yang sangat sibuk itu menyenangkan, dan kurasa aku perlu berbagi.
Sekarang, detik ini saya merangkap menjadi:
1. Mahasiswa Semester 5 jurusan Bahasa Inggris Unnes
2. Komting mata kuliah Advance Listening
3. Sekretaris Umum Dewan Perwakilan Mahasiswa tingkat Universitas
4. Google Student Ambassador Indonesia
5. Koordinator Humas dan Publikasi Drama Bahasa Inggris
6. Koordinator Music Director Drama rombel 2
7. Pemeran Ibu Ogre di Drama rombel 2 yang terlibat dalam 2 scene
8. Student Staff bidang kerjasama internasional PR4 Unnes
9. Tentor Bahasa Inggris Della, anak pemilik bimbel, kelas 4 SD\
10. Kekasih dari Pr***** s*k**

Hell Yeahhhh
Jangan tanyakan bagaimana saya bisa merasa begitu hidup.

It was raining, Darl.

You said you used to be lonely, me too. We were friends, we know well. But, I think I should believe the word "no brother in male-female relation, it must be something here" what a fool truth. I prevented that possibility with just said "I agree to go somewhere with you, but don't try to fall in love with me. I swear." It had no longer impact baby. You did it good.
It was raining. I was aware what would you do. I still did not know what would I say. I stared at your eyes, I saw me. Yeah... Did I make you disappointed? I ever can not make you hurted with my persistence. But, I can not lie myself, It was not like before. Am I fall for you? Complicating,
Darl, I am sorry to say that I am not loving you yet, I just said it by heart. It was different. I am happy beside you all along. You are my comfort place when I got my shit-trouble.
We did anything I never had done with a guy. Haha You are my best partner I guessed. I was thinking and deciding to has it flow. I wanted to be with you, at least, beside you. Sadly, I can not feel the love that I used to be involved in. I think I loved you, but next time it was wrong. It was happened all the time. Hug me, Darl.
I clearly remember, the beautiful night we had through.
You said in a light raining, next to me, in my favorite place, just two in that place, on the mid night, quivering, "We have known each other for along time" -> just some months sweetheart
"The first time I saw you, you were the cutest girl in that room" -> oh really?
"But now, you are the most beautiful girl in the world" -> I like ur style Darling
just that sentence, I did want to hug you. But I couldn't.
I let you told whatever you wanna told. I tried to make you relaxed. Haha If you saw your expression that time Darl, you could hit urself. You were cute. Hoho
I was confused, Dear. I said by heart, when It rained hard I will be next to you and when the rain just stopped, I can not accept that request.
What was going on? It was still raining and getting hard. Nevertheless, I wanna stay there with you all night, looked at you and the fountain. I wanted it happened forever. I was sorry for the flower, I chosed you Baby, not a flower -_-
Just gives me a bouquet! then I will receive it :| Hell yeahhhh
I asked to you if you love me or not. You did not say anything except "Should I say it?" then you hug me. You hug me in raining. in the midnight in my favorite place. I freezed. I did not feel anything or I can't.
It was very weird, long time I did not get a special day. Thank you my Dear, Sakti.

Puisi Skripsi -_-

An African Elegy

BY ROBERT DUNCAN

In the groves of Africa from their natural wonder   

the wildebeest, zebra, the okapi, the elephant,   

have enterd the marvelous. No greater marvelous   

know I than the mind’s

natural jungle. The wives of the Congo   

distil there their red and the husbands

hunt lion with spear and paint Death-spore

on their shields, wear his teeth, claws and hair   

on ordinary occasions. There the Swahili   

open his doors, let loose thru the trees   

the tides of Death’s sound and distil

from their leaves the terrible red. He

is the consort of dreams I have seen, heard   

in the orchestral dark

like the barking of dogs.

Death is the dog-headed man zebra striped

and surrounded by silence who walks like a lion,   

who is black. It was his voice crying come back,   

that Virginia Woolf heard, turnd

her fine skull, hounded and haunted, stopt,   

pointed into the scent where

I see her in willows, in fog, at the river of sound   

in the trees. I see her prepare there

to enter Death’s mountains

like a white Afghan hound pass into the forest,   

closed after, let loose in the leaves

with more grace than a hound and more wonder there   

even with flowers wound in her hair, allowing herself   

like Ophelia a last

pastoral gesture of love toward the world.   

          And I see

all our tortures absolved in the fog,

dispersed in Death’s forests, forgotten. I see   

all this gentleness like a hound in the water

float upward and outward beyond my dark hand.

I am waiting this winter for the more complete black-out,   

for the negro armies in the eucalyptus, for the cities   

laid open and the cold in the love-light, for hounds   

women and birds to go back to their forests and leave us   

our solitude.

.   .   .

Negroes, negroes, all those princes,

holding cups of rhinoceros bone, make

magic with my blood. Where beautiful Marijuana   

towers taller than the eucalyptus, turns

within the lips of night and falls,

falls downward, where as giant Kings we gathered

and devourd her burning hands and feet, O Moonbar   

thee and Clarinet! those talismans

that quickened in their sheltering leaves like thieves,   

those Negroes, all those princes

holding to their mouths like Death

the cups of rhino bone,

were there to burn my hands and feet,

divine the limit of the bone and with their magic   

tie and twist me like a rope. I know

no other continent of Africa more dark than this   

dark continent of my breast.

         And when we are deserted there,

when the rustling electric has passt thru the air,   

once more we begin in the blind and blood throat   

the African catches; and Desdemona, Desdemona   

like a demon wails within our bodies, warns   

against this towering Moor of self and then   

laments her passing from him.

And I cry, Hear!

Hear in the coild and secretive ear

the drums that I hear beat. The Negroes, all those princes   

holding cups of bone and horn, are there in halls   

of blood that I call forests, in the dark   

and shining caverns where

beats heart and pulses brain, in

jungles of my body, there

Othello moves, striped black and white,   

the dog-faced fear. Moves I, I, I,

whom I have seen as black as Orpheus,

pursued deliriously his sound and drownd   

in hunger’s tone, the deepest wilderness.

Then it was I, Death singing,

who bewildered the forest. I thot him

my lover like a hound of great purity

disturbing the shadow and flesh of the jungle.   

This was the beginning of the ending year.

From all of the empty the tortured appear,

and the bird-faced children crawl out of their fathers   

and into that never filld pocket,

the no longer asking but silent, seeing nowhere   

the final sleep.

The halls of Africa we seek in dreams

as barriers of dream against the deep, and seas

disturbd turn back upon their tides

into the rooms deserted at the roots of love.   

There is no end. And how sad then   

is even the Congo. How the tired sirens

come up from the water, not to be toucht   

but to lie on the rocks of the thunder.   

How sad then is even the marvelous!

Robert Duncan, “An African Elegy” from The Years as Catches: First Poems 1939-1946 (Berkeley: Oyez, 1966). Used with the permission of The Estate of Robert Duncan.


Source: The Years as Catches: First Poems 1939-1946 (1966)

Roda

Karena roda itu berputar,
Yaaaaa.... roda  memang sedang berputar. Saya cukup memahami. Mereka membuka saya pada kenyataan yang sebenarnya. Dan, saya bukanlah something.
Kemarin saya merasa dan diposisikan rasa nomor satu, dan seketika pula tersadar.
Bukankah kebahagiaan dan kesedihan itu relatif?
Bukankah mereka merupakan suatu pertentangan? Atau persahabatan?
Memilukan.
Cukup berekspektasi. Tak mungkin lagi dihadapkan dengan racauan perasaan membumbung. Iya. Saya pernah sangat menginginkan itu. Tapi, sudahlah... Garis-Nya memang sesuatu yang paling pasti.
Setidaknya saya pernah berharap.
Saya akan meraihnya. Cepat maupun lambat. Saya yakin. Tuhan memberikan jalan... setapak atau indah atau pedih. itu bukan masalah. jika bahagialah akhirnya.

Tes Kepribadian

Nah ini nih tes kepribadian, siapin kertas dan pensil yah.. tulis jawaban kamu dan hitung hasilnya. Jujur! Okeee :D

Inget, ini bukan soal PKN yang harus dijawab dengan pernyataan yang dirasa paling baik, tapi jawablah dengan apa yang kamu banget. Well, monggo dipunjawab :D 

Kelemahan

1.
A. Suka pamer, memperlihatkan apa yang gemerlap dan kuat, terlalu bersuara.
B. Suka memerintah, mendominasi, kadang-kadang mengesalkan antar hubungan orang dewasa.
C. Menghindari perhatian akibat rasa malu.
D. Memperlihatkan sedikit emosi/mimik.

2.
A. Kurang teraturannya mempengaruhi hampir semua bidang kehidupannya.
B. Merasa sulit mengenali masalah dan perasaan orang lain.
C. Sulit memaafkan dan melupakan sakit hati yang pernah dilakukan, biasa mendendam.
D. Cenderung tidak bergairah, sering merasa bahwa bagaimanapun sesuatu tidak akan berhasil.

3.
A. Suka menceritakan kembali suatu kisah tanpa menyadari bahwa cerita tersebut pernah diceritakan sebelumnya, selalu perlu sesuatu untuk dikatakan.
B. Berjuang, melawan untuk menerima cara lain yang tidak sesuai dengan cara yang diinginkan.
C. Sering memendam rasa tidak senang akibat merasa tersinggung oleh sesuatu.
D. Tidak bersedia ikut terlibat terutama bila rumit.

4.
A. Punya ingatan kurang kuat, biasanya berkaitan dengan kurang disiplin dan tidak mau repot-repot mencatat hal-hal yang tidak menyenangkan.
B. Langsung, blak-blakan, tidak sungkan mengatakan apa yang dipikirkan.
C. Bersikeras tentang persoalan sepele, minta perhatian besar pada persoalan yang tidak penting.
D. Sering merasa sangat khawatir, sedih, dan gelisah.

5.
A. Lebih banyak bicara daripada mendengarkan, bila sudah bicara sulit berhenti.
B. Sulit bertahan untuk menghadapi kekesalan.
C. Kurang percaya diri.
D. Sulit dalam membuat keputusan.

6.
A. Bisa bergairah sesaat dan sedih pada saat berikutnya. Bersedia membantu kemudian menghilang. Berjanji akan datang tapi kemudian lupa untuk muncul.
B. Merasa sulit memperlihatkan kasih sayang dengan terbuka.
C. Tuntutannya akan kesempurnaan terlalu tinggi dan dapat membuat orang lain menjauhinya.
D. Tidak tertarik pada perkumpulan atau kelompok.

7.
A. Tidak punya cara yang konsisten untuk melakukan banyak hal.
B. Bersikeras memaksakan caranya sendiri.
C. Standar yang ditetapkan begitu tinggi sehingga orang lain sulit memuaskannya.
D. Lambat dalam bergerak dan sulit untuk ikut terlibat.

8.
A. Memperbolehkan orang lain, termasuk anak-anak untuk melakukan apa saja sesukanya untuk menghindari diri kita tidak disukai.
B. Punya harga diri tinggi dan menganggap diri selalu benar dan yang terbaik dalam pekerjaan.
C. Dalam mengharapkan yang terbaik, biasanya melihat sisi buruk sesuatu terlebih dahulu.
D. Memiliki kepribadian yang biasa saja dan tidak suka memperlihatkan banyak emosi.

4 Jenis Kepribadian Manusia

Florence Litteur, penulis buku terlaris “Personality Plus” menguraikan, ada 4 (empat) pola watak dasar manusia, yaitu sanguinis, melankolis, koleris, dan plegmatis.

SANGUINIS (Yang Populer)

Mereka cenderung ingin populer, ingin disenangi oleh orang lain. Hidupnya penuh dengan bunga warna-warni. Mereka senang sekali bicara tanpa bisa dihentikan. Gejolak emosinya bergelombang dan transparan. Pada suatu saat ia berteriak kegirangan, dan beberapa saat kemudian ia bisa jadi menangis tersedu-sedu.
Namun orang-orang sanguinis ini sedikit agak pelupa, sulit berkonsentrasi, cenderung berpikir `pendek’, dan hidupnya serba tak beratur. Jika suatu kali anda lihat meja kerja pegawai anda cenderung berantakan, agaknya bisa jadi ia sanguinis. Kemungkinan besar ia pun kurang mampu berdisiplin dengan waktu, sering lupa pada janji apalagi bikin rencana. Namun kalau disuruh melakukan sesuatu, ia akan dengan cepat mengiyakannya dan terlihat sepertinya betul-betul hal itu akan ia lakukan. Dengan semangat sekali ia ingin buktikan bahwa ia bisa dan akan segera melakukannya. Tapi percayalah, beberapa hari kemudian ia tak lakukan apapun juga.
Seorang sanguinis mempunyai kekuatan dan kelemahan sebagai berikut :
Kekuatan : suka bicara, antusias, ekspresif, ceria, penuh rasa ingin tahu, hidup di masa sekarang, mudah berubah (banyak kegiatan/keinginan), berhati tulus, kekanak-kanakan, senang berkumpul (untuk bertemu dan bicara), umumnya hebat di permukaan, mudah berteman dan menyukai orang lain, senang dengan pujian, ingin menjadi perhatian, menyenangkan dan dicemburui orang lain, mudah memaafkan (tidak menyimpan dendam), mengambil inisiatif/menghindar dari hal-hal yang membosankan, spontanitas, serta seorang yang demonstratif dan emosional.
Kelemahan : suara dan tertawa yang keras, membesar-besarkan suatu hal, susah diam, mudah dikendalikan oleh keadaan/orang lain (suka nge-Gank), sering minta persetujuan, RKP! (Rentang Konsentrasi Pendek), banyak bicara saat bekerja dan melupakan kewajiban, mudah berubah-ubah, susah tepat waktu jam kantor, prioritas kegiatan kacau, mendominasi,percakapan, suka menyela dan susah mendengarkan dengan tuntas, sering mengambil permasalahan orang lain menjadi seolah-olah masalahnya, egoistis, sering berdalih dan mengulangi cerita-cerita yang sama, serta konsentrasi ke “How to spend money” daripada “How to earn/save money”.

MELANKOLIS (Yang Sempurna)

Mereka agak agak berseberangan dengan sanguinis. Seorang melankolis cenderung serba teratur, rapi, terjadwal, tersusun sesuai pola. Umumnya mereka ini suka dengan fakta-fakta, data-data, angka-angka dan sering sekali memikirkan segalanya secara mendalam. Dalam sebuah pertemuan, orang sanguinis selalu saja mendominasi pembicaraan, namun orang melankolis cenderung menganalisa, memikirkan, mempertimbangkan, lalu kalau bicara pastilah apa yang ia katakan betul-betul hasil yang ia pikirkan secara mendalam sekali.
Orang melankolis selalu ingin serba sempurna dan ingin teratur. Karena itu jangan heran jika balita anda yang `melankolis tak `kan bisa tidur hanya gara-gara selimut yang membentangi tubuhnya belum tertata rapi. Dan jangan pula coba-coba mengubah isi lemari yang telah ia disusun, sebab betul-betul ia tata-apik sekali, sehingga warnanya, jenisnya, klasifikasi pemakaiannya sudah ia perhitungkan dengan rapi. Kalau perlu ia tuliskan satu per satu tata letak setiap jenis pakaian tersebut. Ia akan dongkol sekali kalau susunan itu tiba-tiba jadi lain

The Executive and Very Strong Choleric

Iseng tadi ngisi tes kepribadian lagi.. setelah dua tahun lalu ngisi dan hasilnya koleris sangat kuat. sekarang ngisi lagi, baru aja. dan hasilnya. ngga beda tuh -_-
Now I am looking for my sanguinis :*

Executive ini campuran dari ke 4 kepribadian yang diramu secara Insya Allah tepat dan akurat menjadi gini nih

The Executive ENTJ fokus pada cara yang paling efisien dan terorganisir melakukan sebuah tugas. Kualitas ini, bersama dengan orientasi tujuan mereka. Mereka dapat menjadi pemimpin yang unggul, baik realistis dan visioner dalam melaksanakan rencana jangka panjang. ENTJ cenderung sangat independen dalam pengambilan keputusan mereka, memiliki kemauan yang kuat yang insulates mereka terhadap pengaruh eksternal. Umumnya sangat kompeten, ENTJ menganalisa dan membuat struktur dalam dunia di sekitar mereka dengan cara yang logis dan rasional. ENTJ cenderung memiliki kesulitan terbesar dalam menerapkan pertimbangan subjektif dan nilai-nilai emosional ke dalam proses pengambilan keputusan.
ENTJ sering unggul dalam bisnis dan bidang lain yang memerlukan analisis sistem, pemikiran asli, dan pikiran yang cerdas secara ekonomi. Mereka adalah pemecah masalah yang dinamis dan pragmatis. Mereka cenderung memiliki tingkat kepercayaan yang tinggi dalam kemampuan mereka sendiri, membuat mereka tegas dan blak-blakan. Dalam berhubungan dengan orang lain, mereka umumnya keluar, karismatik, berpikiran adil, dan tidak terpengaruh oleh konflik atau kritik. Namun, kualitas ini dapat membuat ENTJ tampil arogan, tidak sensitif, dan konfrontatif. Mereka dapat mengalahkan orang lain dengan energi dan keinginan untuk memaksa. Akibatnya, mereka mungkin tampak menakutkan, terburu-buru, dan penuh dengan pengendalian.
ENTJ cenderung menumbuhkan kekuatan pribadi mereka. Mereka sering mengambil alih situasi yang tampaknya keluar dari kontrol. Mereka berusaha untuk belajar hal baru, yang membantu mereka menjadi solusi pemecah masalah. Namun, karena ENTJ mengandalkan fakta, mereka mungkin menemukan masalah dalam menggunakan sisi subjektif mereka. ENTJ tampaknya mengambil pendekatan yang sulit untuk masalah emosional atau pribadi, dan sebagainya dapat dilihat sebagai menyendiri dan tidak sensitif.

Selmaaa

Menunggu

Semua karena apa yang kuinginkan
Aku bukanlah seseorang yang gila pujaan
Hanya ingin disadari
Tak pernah berharap semua kembali
Hanya ingin semua berubah
Terimakasih karena telah pernah ada
Aku sangat menunggu yang akan menetap
Siapapun
Seperti yang kuinginkan

Summary I Don't Know (Short Story)

“I Don’t Know”

By Selma Lady Diana

Ruth is European. Her parents were killed by war in Indonesia. A javanese family that just lossing their child adopted Ruth. So, Ruth lived in Hadiningrat’s family. The family was respectful  and popular enough in the village. Ruth realized who she is and started thinking. When she was thinking, the tragedy happened. Anti-white skin person in Indonesia was more fearful. Jatmiko, her beloved, was killed in the bridge she waited for him for along time. Her father also died by people who hated white eskin. Ruth was  forced to go back in Holland. There she did not know anything. She could not more be missing home. The culture was quite different. She tried hard to receive it. She also waited for the best time coming Indonesia. She wore kebaya among naked summer-people. She found a kind family, they helped Ruth come back to dance gambyong (get the happpiness) again. Finally, Ruth met her mother and married  with Jayden, her ex-brother. In short, culture does not bring you but it has you. 

I Don't Know (short story)

Ini dia cerpen yang bikin aku dapet award di FBS award 2013, silahkan dibaca :)

“I Do not Know”

By :  Selma Lady Diana

I am Ruth, 19 years old. I have been sitting here for along time, since the butterfly started  dancing until it had gone to left me be myself . It is not a conscripted to do, I chosed that one. Okey, let me tell you the biggest secret, I can do all thing what I wanna do. Except, of course, if I wanna be God, I must be sunk in Nil’s River right now.

Here everything is started, listen. You do not know anything. Something firstly made me scared is why I had born like this. Brown hair, tan skin, chubby cheek, and blue eyes. They do not know what I am like, but I ever thought I was freak. People chased me, I have no idea at all to decide what they are looked. They are different or even I do. Wow. More, my parents are not resembling of me. Quite different.

“Ruth, why are your eyes like that? Your skin and, of course, you hair. Whats going on?” Sukarti, my classmate, asked me one day.

“I do not know Sue, I know I am different. Maybe I got an abnormality like Albino*. Haha. That is terrible.”

I know well that Sukarti will never believe my foolish answer. Yet I do not care, I lost my mind. My hair is fully dark chocolate. Blue eyeballs, white skin, and also tall body whereas my parents is like others; rather tall, tan skin, chocolate eyes, black hair and so on. Yes, completely correct, I am European. Despite my parents are not really mine, I love them much.

None of my friends act commonly, treating me special. Sometimes respect and the left over despise me. Both, they tickle and hurt. I never thought it caused I am European at all. Every girl got that experience. In short, I should not grumble. Or used to.

*congenital disorder characterized by complete or partial absence of pigment in skin, hair, eyes.

I have been loving this old bridge for a half of my life’s periods. The bridge is  so sexy. It hugs me tight. Hugs my life, my breath, and my soul. There comes grandious rainbow every tears I compose, everymorning. How can? That is not really important.

When I was 9, I did not know anything. I didnot realize who I am. I had a great life. Everything was fine except my self. My appearance, certainly. I begged my mom to bring me to the doctor since I know that different. Was I beautiful? Or the freakest one? Whatsoever.

My mother taught me how to dance Gambyong*. I did it well, my parents so proud of me. Usually, I danced at my home party, but sometimes in front of my dad’s friends when they visited us for our greeting. Thus, I supposed I was marvelous enough.

Poems -_-

An African Elegy

BY ROBERT DUNCAN

In the groves of Africa from their natural wonder   

the wildebeest, zebra, the okapi, the elephant,   

have enterd the marvelous. No greater marvelous   

know I than the mind’s

natural jungle. The wives of the Congo   

distil there their red and the husbands

hunt lion with spear and paint Death-spore

on their shields, wear his teeth, claws and hair   

on ordinary occasions. There the Swahili   

open his doors, let loose thru the trees   

the tides of Death’s sound and distil

from their leaves the terrible red. He

is the consort of dreams I have seen, heard   

in the orchestral dark

like the barking of dogs.

Death is the dog-headed man zebra striped

and surrounded by silence who walks like a lion,   

who is black. It was his voice crying come back,   

that Virginia Woolf heard, turnd

her fine skull, hounded and haunted, stopt,   

pointed into the scent where

I see her in willows, in fog, at the river of sound   

in the trees. I see her prepare there

to enter Death’s mountains

like a white Afghan hound pass into the forest,   

closed after, let loose in the leaves

with more grace than a hound and more wonder there   

even with flowers wound in her hair, allowing herself   

like Ophelia a last

pastoral gesture of love toward the world.   

          And I see

all our tortures absolved in the fog,

dispersed in Death’s forests, forgotten. I see   

all this gentleness like a hound in the water

float upward and outward beyond my dark hand.

I am waiting this winter for the more complete black-out,   

for the negro armies in the eucalyptus, for the cities   

laid open and the cold in the love-light, for hounds   

women and birds to go back to their forests and leave us   

our solitude.

 

.   .   .

 

Negroes, negroes, all those princes,

holding cups of rhinoceros bone, make

magic with my blood. Where beautiful Marijuana   

towers taller than the eucalyptus, turns

within the lips of night and falls,

falls downward, where as giant Kings we gathered

and devourd her burning hands and feet, O Moonbar   

thee and Clarinet! those talismans

that quickened in their sheltering leaves like thieves,   

those Negroes, all those princes

holding to their mouths like Death

the cups of rhino bone,

were there to burn my hands and feet,

divine the limit of the bone and with their magic   

tie and twist me like a rope. I know

no other continent of Africa more dark than this   

dark continent of my breast.

         And when we are deserted there,

when the rustling electric has passt thru the air,   

once more we begin in the blind and blood throat   

the African catches; and Desdemona, Desdemona   

like a demon wails within our bodies, warns   

against this towering Moor of self and then   

laments her passing from him.

And I cry, Hear!

Hear in the coild and secretive ear

the drums that I hear beat. The Negroes, all those princes   

holding cups of bone and horn, are there in halls   

of blood that I call forests, in the dark   

and shining caverns where

beats heart and pulses brain, in

jungles of my body, there

Othello moves, striped black and white,   

the dog-faced fear. Moves I, I, I,

whom I have seen as black as Orpheus,

pursued deliriously his sound and drownd   

in hunger’s tone, the deepest wilderness.

Then it was I, Death singing,

who bewildered the forest. I thot him

my lover like a hound of great purity

disturbing the shadow and flesh of the jungle.   

This was the beginning of the ending year.

From all of the empty the tortured appear,

and the bird-faced children crawl out of their fathers   

and into that never filld pocket,

the no longer asking but silent, seeing nowhere   

the final sleep.

The halls of Africa we seek in dreams

as barriers of dream against the deep, and seas

disturbd turn back upon their tides

into the rooms deserted at the roots of love.   

There is no end. And how sad then   

is even the Congo. How the tired sirens

come up from the water, not to be toucht   

but to lie on the rocks of the thunder.   

How sad then is even the marvelous!

Robert Duncan, “An African Elegy” from The Years as Catches: First Poems 1939-1946 (Berkeley: Oyez, 1966). Used with the permission of The Estate of Robert Duncan.


Source: The Years as Catches: First Poems 1939-1946 (1966)

Understanding and Using English Grammar (second edition) Report Book

Hari ini, 19 September 2013, hari dimana perkuliahan Book Reports and Reviews. Semaleman ngerjain Syntax. Yaudah akhirnya bangun tidur langsung bertapa nyari ide. Oke tinggalkan pertapaan, kemaren udah kepikiran mau bikin report novel Animal Farm. Itu novel aku beli tapi ngga kebaca gegara tugas udah kelar sebelum beli buku itu. Gini nih kalo kelompokan sama orang yang pinter. Kita nya jadi bego -_- kasian. Lumutan...
Singkat kata semalem sebelum bomut (bobok imutiisasi) gue udah nyiapin seperangkat alat reporting yaitu handout dua lembar dan novel tidak lupa menggosok gigi (--" ) sempet nyelip handout dua biji itu akhirnya ketemu. Gue sambil ngepoin si George Orwell yg ternyata Democratic bingit. Gue mau jadi kayak dia. Keren, nama ditulis di ratusan bahkan ribuan ribu tugas anak kuliahan -_-
Dia politikus yang kreatif. Gue bakal CONTOH DIA!!
Gue ngelarin tuh report. Gue rasa gue keren karena gue improve kemana2. Tapi, setelah gue kelar dan mulai nyanyi2 selametan gue baca handoutnya lagi dan meyakinkan diri apakah itu udah bener belom. Gue baca lagi. Gue pahami kata demi kata word by word. Dan, gue rasa gue hampir bikin BOOK REVIEW! gue kehilangan arah. Gue kepikiran buat nyimpen tuh novel buat jaga2 siapa tau ntar disuruh bikin book review. Gue ngga rela tuh buku cuma direport. Gue pelit. Akhirnya gue ngelirik buku tebel berwarna pink nista di rak buku gue. Dia senyum2 minta dicolek. Gue jabanin! Yak. Itu dia buku favorite gue. Sesuai dengan anjuran dari Dosen Favorite gue Mr Elyas Nugraha, gue sayang banget sama tuh buku. Asalnya bersampul biru, tapi karena kayak tenda nya Desi Ratnasari akhirnya gue jilid limabelas ribu jadi pink. Itu wujud kasih sayang gue selama ini.
Pas banget si hape bunyi dan ada berita kampret yang mengatakan bahwa kita harus report buku nonfiksi. Iya. Itu sms dari Aweng dan diperkuat oleh Nizar. Baiklah.. Ini jam 9 dan gue kuliah jam 11. Gue bikin!!
Akhirnya dengan menyambi bersih2 kamar, nguras bak mandi, nyapu2, jumput2 sampah, mengepul perasaan, tuh tugas jadi tepat jam 10.16. Gue bergegas mandi dan cussssss... lompat2 ke kampus .--
Gimana hasilnya? Lumayan sih. Bagus. Kata pak hartoyo :)
Alhamdulillaaaah... Kalo kita berusaha berniat dan ikhlas. Kita pasti bisa. Trust me. 

Selma Lady Diana

2201411124

Book Reports and Reviews

Understanding and Using English Grammar

(second edition) Report

Understanding and Using English Grammar (second edition), by Betty Schrampfer Azar, is a students  textbook about the used of English Grammar for foreign speaker, published by Prentice Hall Regents in 1989.

The book contains changes directed primarily toward clarification of structure presentations in charts and improvements in the exercises. The book structure was designed to accomodate  splitting text into two section, Grammar and Supplementary Grammar Units.

Grammar is explained in ten chapter. They are Verb Tenses, Modal Auxiliaries and Similar Expression, The Passive, Gerunds and Infinitives, Singular and Plural, Adjective Clause, Noun Clauses, Showing Relationships between Ideas, and Conditional Sentence. The text remains a developmental skills text for students of English asa second language or foreign language. The reflection of exercises as  an eclectic approach, not only by effectiveness teaching language  but also the structures simply tend to lend themselves to one approach rather than another.

Every chapter has an introduction, explanation of material, and surely the exercises. The material delivering is one subchapter with diagrams also table to be easier understanding and simply words. The exercises are divided into part by part after explanation per subchapter. The exercises are directed to the listening skills, oral production, writing skills, reading skills, or combination of them. Every chapter contains up to 66 exercises. Error analysis is also given to measure the understanding of students in the last of chapter.

Supplementary Grammar Units is the detail information about part of speech and basic structure such as questions and negatives. There are three chapter in this section, Supplemental Grammar Units, Preposition Combination, and Guide for Correcting Writing Error. Every appendix consists of some units that formed like the section before, exercises after its material.

The explanation of the book is easily understood. The context is not being wordy, so simple. Using tables and charts stimulate to think logically and get the meaning easier with the way of ourself. Some of exercises have a straightforward, controlled concentration on form and meaning. The other are followed by more complicated and challenging exercises. It is a creative and realistic exercise in daily life activities including to improve vocabularies. The book is completely simple grammar textbook. Therefore, Understanding and Using English Grammar (second edition), by Betty Schrampfer Azar is my recommendation for students who want to understand grammar easily.(selma)

....

Ngantuk -_-
tapi hidup ini nggabisa ditinggal istirahat.
capek ....
aku nggatau semua ini kenapa ada apa dan mengapa. aku kalut. bingung.
aku harus apa. I don't know what to do.
I don't have anything to be pride, but I have to stay. it is funny.

Forgetting when I wrote this down -_-

Hello my blog my best friend ever

I wanna tell you about my line, my best line maybe. Haha I wish I had one more happiness.. more and more. You know that I started my life with a sadness. It was a dark prior times ever. Thankful for God blessed us to make me and my family stronger. As you know, I have a better life. Better point of view to do something.

Many other thought that those period was so hard. I considered different, without  this pain I would not to be like this. I would not being a wonder girl, I guessed. So I would like to say big thanks for my grandparents from my mother, my sister of them, their children, and so on.

In my life, I perceived having just some family. My father’s parents, and grandmother’s of my mom. Not at all. I am not trust everyone. Yet I am a positive thinker. Life is always realistic. You had a past, you must be better. You dont need believing everyone had hurted you. They act a good attitude? You have to trustme. It is bullshit. A pretty bullshit.

I forgive them, that doesnt mean I forgot everything. I behave good with them, just not respect. I dont believe in a big quantity.

That is why, I always try to forget every past memories. In my deepest said that every past is pain. So if I wanna be happy, I have to remove all of em. Sadly.

I grew up in the great loving family. My charming dad, my wonder mother, and sure my cute twinbrother. I devoted myself to be their pride. I promise. They are awesome. I want to stay be sweet child of them ever after. I will be missing the way my dad and my mom give me more care when I don’t wanna eat anymore. I will be missing when my brother look after his beautiful sister. Haha what a tremendous perioud. I will cry loudly someday, or scream instead.

If you forced me to tell about my past, I can’t do anymore. I dont wanna be crying whatsoever. I am used to be a tough like a rock. I believe if you asked the rock which water make him fragile, the rock will kill the water as soon as possible.

That is true if sadness had a big influence to the degree of life quality. Human never be happpy ever after. It has been written and said. When will I die, I born, I laugh, I cry. It is decided.

It is being connected to be the basic of life, anyway. Haha

God prepares my best life. My superbright future. The Fabulous Destiny is gonna be with me. Sad or Happy, it is subjective where you get the point ;D

Thank you my Lord.

Hortatory Exposition

Plastic Bags Reduction for The Environtment

The Global Warming makes peopple getting crazy to live in. Seasons becomes unpredictable in the  entire of the world. The Environment is felt as unfriendy for the coming of disasters one after another. What can we do to save our planet? The simple way to help the environtment  by reducing waste especially the undegradable litter like plastic bags.

Plastic bags is claimed to be degradated between 45 until 1000 years. So, will the litters stay in that period? In fact, it still be in debate how long plastic bags degradated. Some experts even said that it might be take no longer than waiting for the doomsday. It grows stadily, but no reduction instead. Thats why plastic bags build a huge environmental pollution.

There is a big risk whether we pack food especially the hot food with plastic bags. It is very dangerous since its unconcrete substaince melted then mixed within the food. Plastic bags also pollute the food chain as its wasted in everywhere and destroyed the enviromental equilibrium. The undegradable litter poisons the soil, the water, and also the air.

It is needed 430.000 gallons of oil to produce 100 million to 5 trillion nondegradable bags worldwide. The number of plastic bags are produced and discarded anually. The lifestyle requires  the most simple way to do also the cheapest one. Using plastic bags is a great idea but becoming worst for the future.

Recycling is easier cared for environment, it also make an economically enviable. Unfortunatelly, it is almost impossible for trillion plastic bags to be recycled. Burning plastic bags results the pollution in air and the toxic ash. Burying plastic bags destroys the soil content. Discarding plastic bags also pollute our rivers and oceans. At present, there  are no technological method or resources available to decrease and recycle the undegradable litter unfortunately.

Reducing the use of plastic bags is more than just a good idea. Moreover, it can do with having a reusable, washable and durable cloth bags and take them with you when you go shopping. We should reuse our plastic bags and do not try to make it ripped. Let us cut the used of plastic bags for helping the environtment and loving our planet.